Honestly Therapeutic

What a wonderful, vulnerable question to have. The most honest answer that I can give may frustrate you…. probably.

If you’re anything like me, you probably hate this answer and wish that I would be more comforting. You may have been wanting to read ‘Yes, of course they like you! Therapists are perfect humans and are legally obligated to like each and every client that comes to see them!’. I’d love to be able to say this, but it isn’t entirely truthful.

Here’s what is true. Therapists are people. We are people who are generally highly empathetic, and try to see the best in others, but we’re ultimately just people. With that said, most of us have a deep and personal understanding of what it’s like to be struggling, and to not be the best versions of ourselves. We *know* that life is hard, and I hope that you’ll believe me when I tell you that we *want* to like all of our clients.

And, I also hope you’ll understand that, like in every profession, sometimes you encounter people who are unkind. Perhaps even hostile. This is something that therapists know to expect from time to time. After all, therapy is a vulnerable process for all involved, and while it can bring out the best in many, sometimes it also brings out the worst.

But, my dear reader, the fact that you’re reading this post tells me that you’re likely a generally considerate individual. Assuming that this is the case, here’s what I want *you* to know.

Therapy is meant to be a safe space where people do not need to worry about how they are perceived, and just say what they need to say.

Therapy is a place to ugly-cry… to talk about that boyfriend or girlfriend you *know* you should dump but just can’t quite seem to leave… it’s a place to vent. It’s a place to heal, and a place to practice new skills to live a better and happier life. It’s a place to just be, without worrying about how you will be perceived.

And that’s really scary for alot of us. Of course it is… therapy is an incredibly vulnerable process!

In most relationships (healthy relationships, that is), you ease in! You don’t dive in with ‘Hi… my name is Susan. Here is a list of all of the traumas that I’ve endured. By the way, sometimes I yell at my kids and I’m constantly doom-scrolling TikTok.’ (Ok, so most clients don’t say this either… but it tends to come out pretty darn quickly!).

No. We have boundaries, and we enter relationships slowly, doling out that kind of information only after trust has been established. Taking our time sharing personal information is not only normal, it’s healthy!

Therapy, however, often requires us to be highly vulnerable before deep trust has been established. And that, dear reader, is why I think so many people wonder… ‘does my therapist like me?’

What we’re really asking is, ‘am I really likable with all of my baggage, and without my carefully crafted persona?’ If this question resonates with you, I’m so happy that you’re here. I hope to create a community for those who wish to heal, learn, laugh, and maybe even ugly-cry as they begin to better understand what therapy is all about.

And so, in conclusion, I’m quite certain that your therapist likes you. But, frankly, if you’re even self-aware enough to be asking that kind of question, I think that what’s even more important is that you learn to like yourself. (Because you’re pretty freaking awesome.)