Honestly Therapeutic

I love this question, and I’ve heard it asked in some form or another by both those who value therapy, and those who are more skeptical. Given that I imagine most of my readers are at least somewhat trusting of therapy, let’s start with the former.

Generally, individuals who value therapy ask this question for one of two reasons:

1. They feel supported in session and would like to continue indefinitely.
2. They have someone in mind (often a stubborn/difficult family member), who they deeply wish would consider seeing a therapist.

On the other side of the fence, I suspect that more skeptical individuals jokingly (or grumpily) ask this question for the following reason:

1. They believe that therapy is for the ‘truly crazy’, or for those who have ‘real problems’. They do not view themselves in this light and are certain that, since this does not describe them, therapy cannot be beneficial.
   • You may be picturing a certain ‘problematic’ Aunt or Uncle as I describe this. You know the one… they make family functions uncomfortable but refuse to take accountability. Thanks Aunt Carol…… (I’m so sorry if your name is Carol… I’m sure you’re great!)

In all fairness, and jokes aside, it’s crucial that I mention how many individuals with minority identities are also skeptical of therapy. And, rightly so. The field of mental health has a complex and not always pretty history. While I feel strongly that, for the most part, therapy can be a safe space for all people regardless of their ethnicity, orientation, race, or other identities, this cannot be ignored. We as a field must continue to strive to provide culturally competent, informed care!

Now that we’ve explored the underlying meaning that this question holds for different people, I’ll happily share my thoughts!

For my believers of therapy:

Yes, therapy can benefit everyone to some extent! But, there are some things to keep in mind.

1. When using insurance to access therapy, you generally must meet certain criteria. To simplify a needlessly complex system, it boils down to this: you must have ‘medical necessity’. This means that you’re going through something that is difficult, and it has noticeably impacted your quality of life. Vague? Yes. Up for interpretation? Yes.
   • Your insurance, as well as the therapist that you choose to see, will dictate how long you can receive counseling without paying out of pocket.
2. If you’re able and willing to pay out of pocket, most therapists would happily agree to see you for however long you desire :). Therapy is a wonderful tool, and if not for the shortage of therapists and insurance regulations, this would be a much simpler answer!
3. When it comes to our loved ones, who we *know* need therapy but are not ready to go… try to remind yourself that it is not your job to make them. This is easier said than done. But, really… therapy cannot work unless a person is there willingly, and ready to do the work. I’ve rarely seen good therapy happen when someone feels forced or pressured into it. It can happen, and, yes, there is such a thing as court mandated therapy. But, generally, it’s best when someone is coming willingly and is ready.

And, lastly, for my skeptics. I see you, and I understand you. Therapy is not easy, and, perhaps some wise, protective part of you simply knows that you are not yet ready. It’s ok. If the day comes when you want to try it out, we will be here to support you.

For those of you who would feel more comfortable seeing a therapist of your same ethnicity, gender, orientation… whatever it may be… that’s 100% normal and ok. You can generally filter for at least some of those options when searching, and it’s always ok to ask. It can take longer to find a therapist when you have stricter criteria due to the shortage of qualified professionals, but it’s completely understandable if the wait feels worth it to you.

We are all at a different place on our healing journey. It’s ok to have these questions, and I sincerely hope that this post helped to better answer this question for you.