Honestly Therapeutic

I’ve been a therapist working with parents and kids for years — and I still am. My approach is rooted in evidence-based practices, my education, and the clinical experience I’ve built over time. That foundation hasn’t changed just because I’ve become a parent myself.

But I have.

Since having my son, I’ve found myself with a deeper humility. A different kind of empathy. A softness I didn’t expect, and a clarity I didn’t know I needed.

You can read about the challenges of parenting. You can sit with hundreds of clients, hold space for their struggles, even walk beside them through grief and growth. But until you’ve held your own baby in the dead of night, wearing noise-canceling headphones because the crying has gone on for an hour and your nerves are fraying — you don’t quite know.

Until you’ve looked at your partner, both of you teary-eyed at 3 a.m., wondering how you’ll keep doing this on so little sleep… you just don’t quite know.

I get it now. I really do.

Becoming a parent hasn’t made me a better therapist because I suddenly “understand” my clients more — I still don’t know what it’s like to live your exact experience. But it’s made me better in other ways. More patient with what it really takes to show up. More attuned to the complexity of doing it all — being a mom, a partner, a professional, a playmate, a daughter, a friend, a whole human being with her own hopes, limits, and identity.

It’s been humbling to more deeply realize that even with all my training and tools, I’m not a perfect mom (and never will be). My degrees didn’t buy me an endless well of patience. My therapist hat didn’t prevent me from crying quietly into my pillow when I felt touched out and completely spent.

And you know what? That’s okay.

Our culture puts so much pressure on parents — especially mothers — to do it all and do it well, on very little support. (Don’t even get me started on the paid family leave situation…) But here’s what I want you to know: You are doing enough. If you’re exhausted, if you’re just trying, I see you.

As therapists, we’re taught to keep our personal experiences private and to use self-disclosure very intentionally. I still believe in that. But I also believe therapists are human. And our humanity is part of the work — not a distraction from it.

So here I am, saying this as both a therapist and a mom in the thick of it: I get it more now. Not perfectly. But more deeply. More personally.

And to any parent who feels like they’re not measuring up — just know that even becoming a whole ass therapist doesn’t make someone a perfect parent.

So give yourself a break.

You’re not alone.